So here I am. Sitting on a gurney in the emergency room.

Should I express my disdain for my primary care doctor? Or my chiropractor? or both?!

I awoke on Thursday with what seemed to be a deep cough.  Throughout the day I felt worse.  I went so far as to predict I wouldn't be at work Friday and that I likely had bronchitis.

And I was right.

And wrong.

I woke up Friday feeling crappy & did send an email to my supervisor letting him know I would be out due to illness.  I had had the presence of mind on Thursday to make a doctor's appointment for Friday morning.  Yay me.  Whatever.  The doc confirmed what I thought I had - bronchitis.

I got my prescription filled - ONLY $193 - thanks doc - and then went home to two little girls (dh is out of town) who attempted to take care of me over the course of the day by making jello, chicken noodle soup, ramen noodles, and hot apple cider.

I managed to wake in time for my chiro appt.  I knew I should have canceled.  But I didn't.  I went in the hopes of alleviating the pain I knew I should be feeling as a result of lying in a very tense position (while trying to avoid coughing).

And at the chiro appt, the doc again said I should bring in my girls to get their immune systems in alignment.

Uh, doc, you 'aligned' my immune system 12 hours BEFORE I started this nasty cough.  And now you're aligning it 36 hours AFTER I started hacking up a lung and it's phlegmy contents. And AFTER a medical doc diagnosed bronchitis.

How come immediately AFTER your alignment I developed a nasty case of diarrhea? Yeah, I know you'll probably try to tell me it was my body getting rid of some toxins.

Whatever.

I still ended up in the emergency room on Saturday.  24 hours AFTER your 'immunity alignment' -- being diagnosed with H1N1, getting two breathing treatments, steroids, and a painkiller to help me stop coughing.  If I'd waited for another 'immunity alignment' I'd probably be DEAD! My oxygen sats were in the 50s.  THANKS!

Dear Chiropractor, you SUCK!

Oh, I won't be seeing you again.  Enjoy your flakey self-righteous life with your son who has never had an illness or a vaccine.  Doorknob.

Oh yeah, and primary care doc?  Thanks for not bothering to check to see if I had H1N1.  As a result of your inefficiency, I wasted $193.  You may have that kind of money to throw away, but I DON'T!!!

Oh my aching back!

Way back in my not-so-distant past, I fell off a ladder.

When I fell (such an amazing demonstration of poise & grace), I not only landed on my back in a searing blaze of pain, but also nearly decapitated my husband by bringing down the ladder on top of both of us.

::sigh::

Sapper had the presence of mind to insist I take a walk (with out hyperactive dog) to keep my muscles moving.  For that I am grateful.  The next day I was sore, but was able to move.

When I say I was sore, I should mention the parts of me that were *not* sore.  Hmm.  My nose.  My ears.  My eyes.  Everything else hurt.

I couldn't move my neck (whiplash?) and head.  I had bruises on both arms.  I especially remember the pulled muscle feeling inside my right thigh.  I was moving so slowly that our choir director didn't recognize me walking through the school parking lot!

Anyway, fast forward to eight days later when I went to donate platelets.  Crab n Yell's school participated in a blood drive but I was ineligible to donate whole blood because I'd done so less than a month previously.  blah blah blah so I talked to the blood center & they said they reallllllly need my platelets.

I thought I was doing alright.  Honestly.  I was still a little stiff and sore, but thought my back would get better over time.

I was really wrong.

These bed things they have at the blood center are pretty comfy.  I've been tempted to nap in them more than once.  But on the 12th I laid on the bed for approximately eight minutes before realizing my back hurt -- a lot.  The phlobotomists noticed something awry (moving my legs incessantly? moans of pain?) and after a little bit of conversation gave me the phone number of a chiropractor.

I managed to see the doc that afternoon.

Good news?  My back isn't broken.

Bad news?  The doc says I have a bulging disk.  And 3 or 4 vertebrae out of alignment.  And they're putting pressure on my sciatic nerve.  (I saw the x-ray, didn't see what the doc was talking about.  But I'm not a doc, nor do I pretend to be one.)

Weird news?  At the appointment for my 'adjustment' on Tuesday, the doc suggested I'd need treatments every day for two weeks, and that after 'two months' I should be pain free.  Yike.

Weirder news?  At my appointment Wednesday, the doc offered to 'adjust the kids' backs to get their immune systems in alignment' after giving them each a free sample of chewable vitamin C.

What?

Freaky-might-make-me-switch-doctors-news?  The doc then said, "Watch out for flu shots and antibiotics.  Toxic!"

The chix said, "Was he serious?"

---

Anyone know a tactful way to switch chiropractors without having to talk to the weird one ever again?

answered prayers

Our friends' daughter spent the night in the hospital on Wed with a diagnosed concussion.  She was released last night -- no broken bones, all other functions as normal -- thank you God for answered prayers!

We are on day 3 of having 2 chicklets with fevers hovering between 100-102F.  ::sigh::

We did get haircuts last night, though, despite the fevers.

As a result, we now have mini-Kake

Sorry, Kake, it was the only photo I could find.

and she's out!

While Crab's kickball team was doing their warm-up tonight, I saw that a friend was at the playground with her 3 smaller children (her oldest daughter is on Crab's team). I let R know that I had a chair for her to sit in as she is 32 weeks pregnant and should *not* be standing during a whole kickball game.  I returned to set up our chairs for the game and saw R jump to her feet.  She grabbed one of her kids from the ground and then I could no longer see what was happening.  I was wondering, "What on earth?  Is someone hurt?  Does she need a first aid kit?"

I started walking over to the play area.  And as I did I saw one of R's children getting R's purse.  At that point I knew there was a problem.  R came out from behind trees and said, "I don't know what's wrong?!  She never acts like this..."  Her littlest had fallen from the top of the play set and had landed on her back.

At this point I tell R to get in the back of my car and I can drive to the hospital.  We have three kids, two adults, and two mobile phones in a car that can't get down the street because the speed limit is 35 and everyone is actually *following* it!

I ran two red lights and then ran into the hospital to tell them that a little one had fallen, we suspected a neck or back injury, that she was lucid but trying to fall asleep.  R was teary and worried.  Her husband got there and was agitated.  I proceeded with the plan to take her twins back to the game with me to meet their grandmother. And at this point I started to feel sick to *my* stomach.  And I was sweating all over.  Wow, talk about an emotional roller coaster.**

I got back to the game to watch the somewhat miserable game and listened to R's mother-in-law and brother-in-law making plans for all of the kids.  R and her husband are very fortunate to have extended family close by and willing to help.***

And now I'm able to get to the point of this story.


Poor little Crab valiantly joked, teased, and laughed with her friend in the car after school.  She told me she had a headache, but apparently I am a totally bad mom and didn't realize how bad she felt.

She had a kickball game -- and felt that her team was depending on her -- and if she had left school early she would not have been able to play in the game.

I took her temp after the game because she was crying and miserable and thought I hadn't even stayed to watch her game.  She played for her team with a fever of 101.7F.

I am officially the worst parent ever.

Yesterday 11 kids from the Chix's grade were called in as "ill" prior to the start of school.  Four more left before lunch.  Three more left after lunch.  For a total of 18 missing from their grade.  That's a third of their grade.

Yike.

Today "only" eleven were missing.  One of them has mono.  Three of them have strep throat.

Tomorrow...at least two will be missing, and *both* will be mine!

---

 **R's twins were hilarious - they kept complimenting me on my car & telling me stories about who their twin loved and "of course" they loved their mom, they were a welcome distraction!
***R and her husband are still at the hospital with their 3-yr-old.  She has IV fluids, has had xrays and is awaiting a CAT scan.  Prayers & well wishes are appreciated!