I love my husband dearly.  I am completely in awe of his abilities to perform small but daunting tasks (fix the broken light fixture in the hallway), larger labor-intensive jobs (remove a cabinet, plumb & install the dishwasher), craftsmanship (design & build the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves in our home) and general household maintenance (strip & paint the back deck).
But sometimes I wonder how he gets along without me.
Ring.  Ring.
me: "______, this is Susan."
person: "mumblemumblemumble"
me:  "This is Susan."
person:  "Suz!"
me:  "Oh, hi, try not to mumble next time."
Ironman:  "I'm not trying to...mumblemumble...(men's voices)...how do you get the awning up?"
me:  "Seriously?"
Ironman:  "Yes, seriously...mumblemumble...I need you to talk me through it."
me:  "Oh, gad, let me remember.  Okay, go to the arms & unscrew the black travel locks on the back."
Ironman:  mumblemumble..."Unscrew those black things!"
me:  "But don't take them off!  Just loosen them.  Then take the hook and flip the lever down.  On the far right."
Ironman:  "The silver metal? or the gray metal?"
me:  "What?!  The lever - at the top right - very top - by the awning.  And then flip the arm levers."
Ironman:  "mumblemumble...here, talk to KD."
KD:  "Hey, how's it going?"
me:  "Is this a clusterPu(k or what?"
KD:  "Hey, watch your language now! Are those arms supposed to be in two pieces?"
me:  "What?!  Is he using the pull bar to pull the awning out?"
KD:  "It's not pulling out."
me:  "What do you mean?  Is the arm taken apart?  Did he flip the switch down?  Did he flip the arm up?"
background:  mumblemumble...men's voices...click...click...click...men's voices
Ironman in the background:  "It's not moving out...tell her it isn't coming out."
me:  "Tell him to flip the switch down again.  And the arms up."
KD:  "She says to flip it again..."
in the background, click...men's voices...click....click...
Ironman in the background:  "It's not...hey, you have to flip these things up...why didn't she tell me..."
me:  "I did tell him!"
KD:  "She says she did tell you.  Man, I'm telling you, if Julie told me, she probably did and that's it."
me:  "Is it extending?"
in the background:  clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick
KD:  "Yeah, it's working."
me:  "OK, once it's out you have to lock it using the levers on the inside of the arms."
KD:  "Yeah, we got it."
me:  "Have you guys got it?  Do you know what to do next?"
KD:  "Yeah, I think so."
me:  "OK, tell him to call me when he needs to retract it."
I'm awaiting a fun phone call on Sunday when Ironman is done with his relay race and everyone is exhausted.  Something involving Kentucky, our camper, a bunch of Army guys, and Bourbon(???).  
Fun times ahead....
Of course, in his defense, I can't start the lawn mower.
